22.5 Showing Up with Authenticity

Authenticity is crucial in building impactful mentoring relationships. When you show up as yourself, you create a space where genuine connections can grow, allowing both you and your mentor to experience a stronger sense of belonging. While definitions of belonging vary, Dictionary.com describes it as “an affinity for a place or situation,” and the National Institutes of Health (NIH) defines it as “a subjective feeling that one is an integral part of their surrounding systems, including family, friends, school, work environments, communities, cultural groups, and physical places.” Despite the different wording, both emphasize that belonging centers on feeling accepted and valued within a particular environment.

Another perspective comes from Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which characterizes belonging as “essential to one’s individual growth as a person and existence within a community” (Kim & Irwin, 2013). This view highlights that belonging is rooted in feeling secure within an environment, which then allows individuals to be their authentic selves and feel confident in who they are around others.

However, it is essential to recognize that authenticity in any relationship, including mentorship, requires psychological safety. Without this security, it can be challenging to be open and genuine. While authenticity is the goal, it is also important to acknowledge that people have many layers, and your authentic self may differ depending on the context, whether it be at home, work, or school. Understanding the different facets of yourself will help you navigate your mentoring relationship with clarity and purpose, enabling you to effectively advocate for your needs.

Thus, as you engage in mentorship, expanding your understanding of yourself in the context of others becomes key to growth. Maslow’s insights ultimately remind us that self-awareness within our interactions is vital for achieving a sense of belonging.

The concept of the cultural iceberg (as seen in the image below) illustrates that much of who we are lies beneath the surface, meaning that everyone possesses both visible and hidden aspects. The perceptions, attitudes, beliefs, and values that shape who we are often take time and trust to uncover, and may not be immediately visible to ourselves or others.

As each person considers the factors illustrated in the cultural iceberg, it is important to be aware of the privileges you carry and how they impact your perspective. Cultivating an understanding of differences not only enriches your mentoring experience, but also helps you celebrate the full value of mentorship. By approaching mentor-mentee relationships with empathy and a commitment to growth, you create a powerful foundation for interactions that can significantly impact your personal and professional development, and are guided by authenticity above all else.

References

Hall, E. T. (1997). Beyond culture. Anchor Books.

Sciarappa, K., & Whitmer, M. (2022). International Mentoring Association  Mentor Training “Building Futures”  Mentor’s Notebook Eight Types of Questions: International Mentoring Association. August 9, 2022,

Toteja, M. (2024, August 12). Council post: A five-step guide to effective networking. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2019/04/11/a-five-step-guide-to-effective-networking/?sh=5ba96e0b7887

YouTube. (2018, March 14). The Cultural Iceberg. https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=a9Z83I_g4Hw

Zachary, L. J., & Fischler, L. A. (2009). The mentee’s guide: Making mentoring work for you. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.