22.6 The Value of Showing Appreciation and Gratitude
Nicholas Williams and Caitin Burns
As you develop your network of professional relationships, it is good practice to demonstrate a sense of gratitude and appreciation. Practicing gratitude will not only strengthen the foundation of the mentor-mentee relationship, but will also make a lasting impression. Gratitude is the act of appreciation in response to the kindness of others. As a blossoming professional, it is the secret to opening doors of opportunity in the present and future.
For example, if a friend helps you move into a new apartment, offering to buy them dinner shows that you value the time and effort they spent supporting you. In a professional setting, writing a note to a mentor after they offer advice communicates that you appreciate the thought they put into helping you. While sometimes considered an “old-school” approach, handwritten letters add an authentic touch, demonstrate care and reflection, and highlight the positive impact an individual has made. At the same time, verbal communication should also be used often. We sometimes assume that people understand our gratitude, which heightens the importance of pausing and directly saying “thank you.”
When expressing gratitude, you can use the following framework, regardless of how you choose to share your appreciation:
- Be direct. Avoid speaking broadly or vaguely; you must be clear when you show appreciation.
- Be specific. Generic gratitude shows that you are just going through the motions, which can unintentionally communicate that your appreciation is not genuine.
- Be timely. Share your appreciation when the moment is still fresh, ideally within 48 hours of the interaction. Communicating promptly shows that the reason for your gratitude matters to you, and that expressing it is a genuine priority.
- Be aware. Everyone receives appreciation differently, so try asking an individual how they would like to receive appreciation. Much like a love language, while some people prefer verbal appreciation, others prefer gifts. Similarly, some people appreciate more subtle means of appreciation, whereas others prefer a more grandiose expression.
Showing appreciation should not be expensive or time-intensive, but it should still be intentional, timely, and genuine. As you continue to build your professional network and engage in mentoring experiences, make it a habit to show gratitude and appreciation.
Try This…practicing gratitude & appreciation
Identify someone who has made a positive impact in your journey (i.e. at school, work, family, friends, a mentor, etc.) and write a thank you card to them. If possible, personally hand deliver the note to them. Try doing this once a month and sending something to different people in your life. (Remember: be direct, specific, timely, and aware)
References
Friedman, A. (2024, August 12). Council post: The secret ingredient to success: Maintaining personal and professional relationships. Forbes.com. https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2021/03/22/the-secret-ingredient-to-success-maintaining-personal-and-professional-relationships/
Gallo, A. (2021, November 24). Giving thanks at work: An HBR guide. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2021/11/giving-thanks-at-work-an-hbr-guide#:~:text=Studies%20have%20shown%20
Horoszowski, M. (2020, January 21). How to build a great relationship with a mentor. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2020/01/how-to-build-a-great-relationship-with-a-mentor
Murphy, M. (2022, March 10). Communication styles quiz: Which of these different communication styles do you use?. Leadership IQ. https://www.leadershipiq.com/blogs/leadershipiq/39841409-quiz-whats-your-communication-style
