22.6 The Value of Showing Appreciation and Gratitude
Nicholas Williams and Caitin Burns
As you develop your network of professional relationships, it is good practice to demonstrate a sense of gratitude and appreciation. Practicing gratitude in the space of mentorship is a skill that will not only strengthen the foundation of a relationship, but will also make a lasting impression. Gratitude is the act of appreciation due to the kindness of others. As a blossoming professional, gratitude is the secret to opening doors of opportunity both in the present and the future.
For example, perhaps a friend helps you move into your new apartment. Offering to buy them dinner as a form of appreciation will make them feel like you value their time. In a professional setting, writing a letter to a mentor after they offer some advice about your career or life will similarly tell them that you value their time. While sometimes considered an “old-school” method of expressing gratitude, handwritten letters allow an individual to be genuine, provide an authentic touch, show careful thought and consideration, and specify how an individual made a positive impact. Verbal communication of course should be used frequently to express gratitude. Sometimes we assume that people understand our gratitude when they do something for us. Take a moment to verbally tell someone “thank you”.
When expressing gratitude here is a framework no matter how you express your appreciation:
- Be direct – as you express gratitude, don’t speak broadly or beat around the bush. You must be clear when you show appreciation.
- Be specific – when expressing gratitude, be specific what you are thankful for. Generic gratitude shows that you are just going through the motions and can communicate that you yourself are not genuine in your appreciation.
- Be timely – show and express appreciation while the reason is relevant. Express or show gratitude at least within 48 hours. Such urgency not only shows that your appreciation is important to you, but also that communicating your appreciation is a top priority.
- Be aware – everyone receives appreciation differently. Try asking an individual how they would like to receive appreciation. Often how an individual receives appreciation is tied to their love language. Some people prefer verbal appreciation whereas others prefer gifts. Some people like more subtle means of appreciation, whereas others prefer a more grandiose expression.
Showing appreciation shouldn’t be expensive nor take a lot of time. Appreciation should be intentional, timely and genuine. As you continue to build your professional network and engage in mentoring experiences, make it a habit to show gratitude and appreciation.
Try This…practicing gratitude & appreciation
Identify someone who has made a positive impact in your journey (i.e. at school, work, family, friends, a mentor, etc.) and write a thank you card to them. If possible, personally hand deliver the note to them. Try doing this once a month and sending something to different people in your life. (Remember: be direct, be specific, be timely and be aware)
References
Friedman, A. (2024, August 12). Council post: The secret ingredient to success: Maintaining personal and professional relationships. Forbes.com. https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2021/03/22/the-secret-ingredient-to-success-maintaining-personal-and-professional-relationships/
Gallo, A. (2021, November 24). Giving thanks at work: An HBR guide. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2021/11/giving-thanks-at-work-an-hbr-guide#:~:text=Studies%20have%20shown%20
Horoszowski, M. (2020, January 21). How to build a great relationship with a mentor. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2020/01/how-to-build-a-great-relationship-with-a-mentor
Murphy, M. (2022, March 10). Communication styles quiz: Which of these different communication styles do you use?. Leadership IQ. https://www.leadershipiq.com/blogs/leadershipiq/39841409-quiz-whats-your-communication-style
