22.5 Showing Up with Authenticity

Authenticity is crucial in building meaningful and impactful mentoring relationships. When you show up authentically, you create a space where genuine connections can flourish, allowing both you and your mentor to experience a deeper sense of belonging. Belonging, though defined in various ways, consistently emphasizes the importance of feeling accepted and valued within a particular environment. According to Dictionary.com, belonging is “an affinity for a place or situation,” while the National Institutes of Health (NIH) describe it as “a subjective feeling that one is an integral part of their surrounding systems, including family, friends, school, work environments, communities, cultural groups, and physical places.”

Perhaps the most resonant definition comes from Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, where belonging is described as “acceptance with providing physical and emotional safety to be true to self and find confidence in self; belonging is an awareness of self in the space of others.” This definition highlights that true belonging occurs when you feel safe enough to be your authentic self, confident in who you are within the presence of others.

However, it’s essential to recognize that authenticity in any relationship, including mentorship, requires a foundation of psychological safety. Without this safety, it can be challenging to be open and genuine. While authenticity is the goal, it’s also important to acknowledge that people have many layers, and your authentic self may differ depending on the context—be it at home, work, or school. Understanding these different facets of yourself will help you navigate your mentoring relationship with clarity and purpose, enabling you to advocate for your needs effectively.

As you engage in mentorship, expanding your awareness of yourself in the context of others becomes key to growth. Maslow’s insights remind us that self-awareness within our interactions with others is vital for achieving a sense of belonging. The concept of the cultural iceberg (in the image below), which illustrates that much of who we are lies beneath the surface, emphasizes that there are both visible and hidden aspects to everyone. The perceptions, attitudes, beliefs, and values that shape who we are often take time and trust to uncover.

As each person considers the factors illustrated in the cultural iceberg, it’s important to be aware of the privileges you carry and how they impact your perspective. Cultivating empathy and an understanding of differences not only enriches your mentoring experience but also helps you celebrate the full value that mentorship can bring to your journey. By approaching your mentorship with authenticity, empathy, and a commitment to growth, you create a powerful foundation for a relationship that can significantly impact your personal and professional development.

References

Hall, E. T. (1997). Beyond culture. Anchor Books.

Sciarappa, K., & Whitmer, M. (2022). International Mentoring Association  Mentor Training “Building Futures”  Mentor’s Notebook Eight Types of Questions: International Mentoring Association. August 9, 2022,

Toteja, M. (2024, August 12). Council post: A five-step guide to effective networking. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2019/04/11/a-five-step-guide-to-effective-networking/?sh=5ba96e0b7887

YouTube. (2018, March 14). The Cultural Iceberg. https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=a9Z83I_g4Hw

Zachary, L. J., & Fischler, L. A. (2009). The mentee’s guide: Making mentoring work for you. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.